---

Woa. I read the tags i touched sia. O.O

okay nvm I'll reply the tags first....

12th nov.
kw: yea. But there IS eternal love. Well. "So called" larh. Nxt time i explain. =D.
eliada: yea okay...
dj: if i'm light all day around. It's okay to let out the heavy on my post. lols

13th nov.
Eugene: hahas. >.<
A i l e d o: yah. But it's boring. very boring.
cf: omg. tt was touching. =D Hmm, mayb i'll tell u how i feel someday.
sha: hey. Hi-5. I also have many questions popping up in my head lyk crazy. And anyways. It's hard counting the blessings u received without knowing. Anyways, trust me. My post, are mostly true, it only depends whether u want to accept it anot. Okay larh. tt one too long explain here lerh.
cf: okay, thx for ur advice. I'll cheer-up. Can't let u all down yea?


hmm. I re-read my recent post. Oh well. It DID sounded depressing. >.< lll okay nvm. Anyways, it's alot easier to understand my "chim" post with myself as the example. If u take that everything i've said has nth to do with me. I don't really think u guys would really that understand, except some.

You know. When i said abt different mentality that applies to me, yet contradicts each other? I'll give u an example.

It's about memories. Using my "dark" side. Memories is nth. Just a facade of time. A bunch of happiness and sadness linked together with a sequence. Then stored nicely inside ur head not being used anymore. It seems practically worthless of what u're actually doing. Since it isn't really won't be doing any changes to u. What that chanegs only happens during that moment. That split second.

Using my "light" side. Memories is ur most precious possesion. Where all ur happiness would be remembered and be reminisced at a later time. You think about the past, u learn from ur mistakes and u share ur happiness with other people. It's the most valuable thing human can have.

You see the contradiction and the application? Both is correct! Yet they contradict each other. This is only an eg. There's still tons of those stored in my head. That's why... I'm kinda confused ya know? About whether what i'm doing now is right. Whether it REALLY is the correct thing to do. It's hard different shading what is right from wrong ya know?

Well, for example. Sometimes, i'm playing very happily with u guys, den suddenly i walk away an sit in a corner to quieten down. Wierd? Mood swings? Nah. It's just the suddenly mentality change. It's lyk, i'm always clear of what i'm doing. And that when my positive side is having fun, beggining to get oblivious of what the person is doing... The negative side kinda takes over.

I will suddenly feel that everything that i've just did is STUPID. So idiotic, so meaningless. =.=lll It's just wierd u know. And sometimes painful. -.-

Haix. Yea i know, u all tell me to think less think less. Dun think dun think. Eh eh, i repeat again. You can't control what you think, it's what you think that controls you, right? I mean those fundamental thoughts, not those... "_____" thoughts. Oh wells. Juz find me smth i can concentrate on. It just sucks sitting around. I'll juz keep thinking non-stop.