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Reply to tags:

mingli: hahas. nvm it doesn't hurts. It's okay =DDD
Eugene: oh. thx =D hi there. nice to meet u too. =p
mad: yea.. hahas, keep up the spirit!
teri: um, they wont understand mah. aiya i lazy take away, nxt skin i den take away.

eliada and shannen and sher. I'll reply u with my post.

Anyways i apologise for any unintentional emotions caused while readin this post. I'll explain ltr why i'm saying all these now.

Actually, i agree with eliada. I might as well don't live. At sec sch. I took up the role of a person who ACTS lyk a counsellor. Oh yea. You think it's easy giving people ur happiness and swallowing the sadness? But yea, so wad? I don't even care abt the sadness i feel anymore. What i need is the meaning to continue living.

If i can even make a slight difference for another person, to let them feel just ABIT better. That's why i'm giving advices. And what is love if you don't feel it? What izzit that, even the closest kin to you, can't understand even a slight bit of how u feel, and uses some harsh words which would scar ur feelings?

If what that's left from all these emotion, feelings, thinkings, experience and hardships, are only painful memories?

What are family ties? It's just because u're borned into that particular group of humans. So that's the tie formed? Izzit a choice of whether u want to love ur parents? It's because that u're FORCED to do so.

what are human on earth for? The way it's progressing, we're just sacrificial products for the advancement of technology and society.

This makes me think of the question i used to ask myself.
"Is love, care and concern i need or want?"

You know "what makes the world go round" can also be said as "what makes us existent". And it isn't a choice whether u want to care for another person anot. Conscience. How izzit formed? through education. If from young we're taught that killing another person is the right thing to do. It doesn't sounds right, right? Because we're taught that killing another person is WRONG.

Lyk i've said, it's how the society shapes us, we're just sacrificial products. What can a friend do, when they can't enter inside ur world?

If u're telling me what other people feel, then there's no point in telling me that. Everyone is SUPPOSED to feel this way, but not everyone would. There is always exceptional people lyk me who falls out from the normal. I've used my positive side. always. In the pri sch. At that point in time, friends are everything to me. I try to make them feel gd, i try to make them laugh, i try to mix around with everyone. I embrace all my friendship and love.

End result? More pain. The type of pain, which when u realise that. When, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING u've done. Is meaningless, uselss and has no value. Mayb i've studied abit too much into science, but then again. We are made up or matter. We have chemical properties. We may be living, but we're still made up of atoms and molecules. There is always a limit to what we can do. There is this invisible parrellel side everyone has tht no one realises.

I shall not talk about bestfriends. I shall not define friends. All those will come later. If i say it out now, it'll be too much for u guys to take.

And maine, u noe why i'm saying all these now? I'm sick, SICK of pretending. I want people to accept who i am. Who i really am, i'm sick of pretending, i just want to let go. Do you know why when it comes to emo stuff, u guys still haven't out talk me in it? Where u're sort of forced to a corner to agree, but still resist with what u think instinctively? In order to win this. You have to think, think of how I feel. And get a solution against that.

In this self-centered society, everyone can only think of themselves. Basic instinct. Human instinct, but is that always correct? Nxt time u tag to "retort" my post. Please think, think deeper. Imagine the world i'm trying to tell u guys. Then u will slow, bit by bit, understand what i say