untitled.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
hmm.. i'm bored. And smth that i've learnt recently can be put to use.
Oh wells. After readin jas's post. She said smth lyk... It's not easy telling other people what u really want to say. Hmm... Well, it feels lyk the case of, not being to let go?
hmm... If you're worried about making people worry for u, or smth lyk addin on to their burdens, think again. Do you really think that telling other people about ur problems will really make them feel bad or wadsoeva? sry for saying this, but it applies to everyone, WHO THE HELL DO U THINK U ARE? (tt applies to everyone else)
It's not lyk ur friend is gonna think of you 24/7. Your friend probably worries for ya, but, that's just momentary! Everyone has their own lives to live in! If you're worried about people being worried for you, i mean now, juz say it out!
Humans are selfish, there's no way you can deny that. The fact that we're bringing out our troubles is because we think that we're suffering and no one knows, we want attention from other people. It's what we yearn from deep inside out hearts without knowing it. If you have already brought it out, den SAY it out. Is worrying what the problem is, or worrying over how to solve the problem better?
The worry that everyone has for the person whom they know has problems is SUSPENSE. It's really dumb and irritating worrying over NOTHING. If you want to sae, MAKE up ur mind and SAY, dammit?
here here, i noe wad i've said kinda hurts no matter how u see it. but relax, i'm no only pointing at u. It's at everyone else, including me. Blame it that we're humans. =
posted at 10:50 PM
Asa-senpai
=DDD One of the girls from the anime Shuffle! . I draw derh. She cute right~~~ hahas, only 1 of them. Let u all see the KAWAII anime girls XDDD. Oh wells, if i got time den i draw the others out. All so cute de lorh.
omg, if my GF lyk tt can liaos XD. hmm, anyways, gif comments on my sketching~~ Hees... Actually wanted to shade the whole thing + some background. But after some thoughts, too troublesome. Lazy~
hahas. finished that anime lerh. So far i watched lyk... 3 or 4 in a row liaos... Now i'm working on tsubasa chronicles. Ah, i oso recommend that to everyone. Nice larh that show. Hmm, if i 1 day suddenly got that feeling wan to draw den try drawing again =D
nv post ytd, oso nth to talk abt mah... Keep watching now tsubasa chronicles i watch until 2nd last episode lerh. Watched the latest deathnote anime, finished shaman king, finished rumbling hearts.. Hmm, anyone got any nice anime to recommend? =DDD
i guess that's all. REMEMBER TO GIVE COMMENTS ON MY DRAWING. that's all. BUH-BYE~
posted at 1:31 PM
anime craze.
Monday, November 27, 2006
ah~
i keep watching & watchign & watching animes nowadays. I think around 80% of my day is spent watching anime. REALLY, sometimes i spend the whole day wactching animes.
Hmm, watched 2 love kinda anime in a row. AWWW, i'm fantasizing~~~ NAH~! But hmm, i think i'll start watching those kinda animes nowadays. Watched too much action lerh. hahas. Touched by the anime. Ah, oh wells. That's wad those kinda animes are for.
Kept myself busy with animes the whole day~ I wonder wad's gonna happen to my hw... >
Ah wells. I don't really want to talk abt anything now. Or rather, nth happened lately, nth to talk abt factually, but emotionally... I doubt u all wan to see that in my post. =/ don't see much smiles on the faces when i post smth -.- smth.... not emo lah, but wad i think. XD
posted at 10:35 PM
phone record.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Shannen!
The new record breaker.
She has broke the current record holder, jasmine's record of 3.35am by a STUNNING 35mins! The new record is now 4.10am. The latest time talked. And i talked to her for... 4hrs 40mins.
YAY~
Oh wells. I'm at home again. Gonna finish shamn king pretty soon lerh. I guess after i watch finish it today, i'm gonna do my stupid hw... AH, hw is raining down on me~ Omg, i think this is gonna be a short post. nth to talk abt mah.
Anyways, talkin to teri on msn now. So i'm saying this, "girls will act cute at least once, it's impossible for a girl to not act cute AT ALL"
agree? XD
posted at 1:01 PM
xin ni's brithday!
Saturday, November 25, 2006
it's xin ni's birthday party! We had it a the void deck, shall show u guys the pictures b4 continueing.
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SO SWEET~! Her BF gave her a bunch of ROSES!!!
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NICE COUPLE POSE!
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time to cut the cake.....
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WAHAHAHA~ KISSING GAME~! XDDDD funny eh?
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tons of muscle is involved here... mayb i shld haf edited the photos.
hmm, mayb i shld had edited the photos, it would be funnier!! But oh wells. laziness has struck me again. Nowadays really boring... It's nott lyk i have totally nth to do, butis boring when u're doing smth which is boring to ya. sianzzz....
Hmm, had quite alot of fun ytd. Quite memorable bah... Anyways, i'm training to run agaisnt the wall. Now can go up properly 2 steps, which is already kinda high. I'm trying the 3rd step.. but cannot. =/
oh wells. Let's hope i'll succeed in it and can do 5steps + somersault. how nice. fat hope. HAHAS. dunno la. i try and try until i can lorh
posted at 1:28 PM
juz a thought...
Friday, November 24, 2006
hmm, it's 12.48am now. Oh wells, slping late again, juz a routine. hahas.
Ah, juz read teri's post. Oh wells, juz a thought. Hmm, bgr is getting more important nowadays, or so it seems??? Oh wells. Hmm, the only thing i can think of. Hahas, which seems more... Appropriate as an answer?
Well, simply, puberty. If you think that way, everything makes sense yea?
And anyways. Hmm, sometimes, ya noe. Well, when a person is worried that u may cry. SOMETIMES lah, well. If u can tell, there are some amongest these ppl who lyk u, well, in that sense. Hahas, lyk i've said... It's smth lyk an overdosage of care and concern. AH!
Famous sentence in alot of anime "When you have found a person you love, you would want to protect the person with everything you got"
Well, i guess that could explain how a person feels when u're in love lorh. I guess what makes it unexplainable is because of the mixtures of u're feelings and we don't noe which one to follow, cuz the person is the source of ur happiness, sadness, biterness. Well, i guess that's what makes love wonderful too eh?
okays, i guess tt's all i have to sae. Not emo, was it? Argh, even if it was, it isn't meant to be larh~ HAhas, lyk teri said, it's what i think. Den i haf nth to do mah. So juz post lorh. Actually feel lyk typing more derh. But i don't think there'll be many ppl interested if i went into detail. yea?
posted at 12:54 AM
ah~ mentoksen~
Thursday, November 23, 2006
zzz....
wad a boring day.
the clouds are nice... hahas.
Spent almost the whole day at home watching "Shaman King". A great kinda "old" anime. Well, re-watched it. Cuz it has so many thrilling parts, some touching parts too. But i guess naruto's better, the obvious technical reason i can find is because naruto's graphic is way better. hahas.
the artist for shaman king is more of focus on the story rather den the art work itself. But nevertheless, it's nice. You guys should go and watch it too.
Well, there's nth much i can sae abt wad that happened today, pretty normal and average. Well, i didn't particularly have anything on my mind... Let's see... I guess it's easier if i juz post tis down yea?
Why do we care abt what ppl think abt us? (copy-righted from jas)
I didn't think abt it. Cuz i noe the answer, but dunno how to put in words, smth lyk, how do u define pain? Well, i ask 1 person and she replied kinda straight away. The general answer. Eh, i shall sae tis once again... and. READ THIS AND DO IT.
ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION
posted at 8:31 PM
maths logic?
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
hmm, went to sch today, bought the books, bought my uniform.
Tell u guys smth interesting. I HAVE A PERFECT FIGURE. The woman measure my waist length 28INCH EH!!! WAHAHAHA~~~ I'm so slim. lol! Nid to grow fat. nid to eat. But i can't seem to fatten. ><
Anyways, wanted to buy a sports shoe for sch use. Eh, anyone got time wanna go out wif me? Go find which shoe can buy for sch use. Cuz i not sure which one can use larh... I wan street soccer shoes, so that i play soccer won'y spoil >.<
Anyways, my post title is "maths logic?"
i'll explain why
I went to compass point today after buyin those sch things, den eat mah. Den b4 going home, my dad wanna buy some chicken/tuna puffs b4 going home. Den here's the offer.
"1 for $1.60,
2 for $3.20,
today got offer. 3 for $3.00"
=.=??? what kind of logic is that. So anyways, my dad bought 3 lorh. LOL. It's kinda crap. so i think of this mentally, didn't get the answer den, but didn't bother to think anymore. Here's the question. How many % is the discount?
lols, tell me if u get the answer, cuz i very lazy think larh. Sigh. anyways, when i go to sch today, on tampines mrt platform right. I look up, IKEA advertisments, i look at the train infront, IKEA advertisments, i look at the stone chairs, IKEA advertisments, i look at the ground, IKEA advertisments. The whole of tampines is flooded with IKEA advertisments, even the entrance, the windows, it's JAMMED with IKEA advertisments.
What has the world come to? I think IKEA has too much money to spare. I hope they can spare me some. $.$ Oh wells, nth else. tag me to post abt smth if u want hahas
posted at 4:16 PM
tag eh tag eh!!!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
eh. eh. eh. Tag eh. Always i post smth asking for some comments, NO ONE tag to my post de lorh. =.=lll Sianz eh~ Haix...
Wells, going to celebrate someone's brithday tis fri, looking forward to it. AHHAHAHA, den at the same time can meet up with my old friends. Oh yea~! Hmmm, i think i'm gonna continue my learning in html b4 i try xml. Cuz after looking through XML, i realised that it's kinda early for me to learn it. hahas...
Kana headache lyk siao when i reading last night.
Zzz, read up on some post. The 2 person who has some "emo" sort of parts are yingxuan and jas. so... hmm, well. Daily routine, nth else to do, i'm gonna post abt their post. lol.
i tok abt yx's one 1st. Cuz very long nv talk abt her blog liaos. LOL, sry... I forget to go. XD. Oh wells, eva since i've gotten over my tourbles, i've realised a ton of other things i didn't see... XD. But actually her post oso nth much i can sae larh. Quite agree with what she says, depends on how u look at it.
HAHAS, that's why i always sae "hmm, depends." XD. Because everything really is depends....~ Well, too many unconfirmed factors. And that's y we have opinions. lols, not everyone can look at the same thing the same way u do. So wells. Even though i'm still damn confused about how i should look at things, i guess that if i juz look at it positively, i guess i can still carry on living my life happily.. hahas.
oh wells. For jas arh. Nth much to sae also. Cheer up lorh. Standard line. Hmm, glad tt u didn't cry. at least ur mentality is stronger now hahas.
tis post i save as draft tt's y i ytd didn't post. i'm gonna post again. NOW
posted at 7:25 PM
blogging
Monday, November 20, 2006
realised smth about blogging.
Well, not really realised larh. But enough to put in words, as some sort of .... "rule"
if u're gonna mention abt 1 person, better mention the rest.
if u're not gonna mention anyone, talk about your thoughts.
these are the 2things i think which makes ur blog interesting. Cause sometimes u noe. we're closer to 1 person, so we oftenly lyk post about that person larh... Keep got a specific person' s name come out. Umm hmm, ur blog would be appealing to that particular person. But not to the rest...
I know that blog is supposed to be some sort of dairy. We ain't really supposed to post for the sake of attracting more ppl to ur blog. But hmmm, it's pretty easy to leak out alot of information when u're typing out ur "personal info", i mean for example, the day's the things/thoughts u had on that specific person. When you pinpoint a person, it pretty much leaks out some data which, may be harmful towards you.
Hmm, i dunno how to put that into words, but i think u all get wad i'm trying to sae eh? Well, anyways, my main point is juz lyk, tellin u guys how to make the post more interesting without evoking some un-nessasary emotions from the person reading it. Well, that's what i've noticed larh.
Well, i'll probably be saying things lyk these nowadays... Hmm, days are boring. Nid to find smth to fill my day yea? Oh wells. But relax, i will include someone's name in my nxt post. If everything in my blog is revolving around me, it's kinda boring eh?
Hmm, sometimes i think. Is blog smth u write on for people to read? Or izzit what you think written down? Afterall, it's an online dairy. I find it kind of... contradicting isn't it? In a diary u're supposed to write out how u REALLY feel, but since it's online, we're afraid that people might not lyk what u're thinking and didn't write that down. If it pleases the audience, den it depletes the purpose of a dairy!
But on the other hand, if what u write doesn't pleases the audience, den it depletes the purpose for it being an ONLINE dairy. ain't it? I find it kinda wierd ya know? It's smth lyk, in sch, sometimes we have some bad thoughts about this particular person, but u wouldn't sae it out yea? What eva thing u think is bad for other people, or smth that will spoil ur image, we wouldn't do that eh?
It seems as if we're desperately clinging on to the nice impression we're trying to give others, and yet here we are destroying it. Contradicting?
Oh wells, wadeva. There's a whole lot of stupid things we humans do without knowing ourselves. =.=lll i can't be bothered to figure out everyone of them. But den again mayb i would. I'm bored nowadays ya noe? okay. post ur comments. i'm off
posted at 11:50 PM
ah~ what a fine day.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
ah~! What a fine day!
I'm rotting in front of the screen everday.
Haix... Nth much to sae. Tmr going to celebrate shermaine SISTER's birthday at Kbox... Hmm, i nv go b4. Feel very SUA KU eh! Nvm, i shall expose myself to the wonders of music tmr. But almost all chinese music. I feel hopeless...
hahas. Well, wateva, it's not like i hate chinese songs, just that i don't listen to them. Cause i don't know which one nice. And i'm not really the type of person who would patiently search through all the songs listening to which one is nice. Well, days are pretty normal nowadays. Ah~ I can feel the brilliance of KNOWLEDGE flowing through me~~~
I've set another "mission" for myself. To learn XML. Increase my knowledge in computer! Ah hahaha... Anyone know how to use? Mayb can learn from u guys. Anyone know how to use XHTML? DHTML??? Cuz i also want to learn them too. After all that, i wanna learn javascripting... Damn lot of things to learn. Wonder how many years i'm gonna take to learn all those... Hmm, up till now, it's not lyk i really know how to use HTML THAT well...
Well, all i know about html is some simply codings... The positioning... Well... Nth else more then that. I feel so =.= stupid. LOL. OH WADEVA. I really wish i could sign up for some super quick learning computer course and learn every damned thing about the computer!!!
okays.... nth to sae liao. Tag me if u want me to post about smth!
posted at 9:24 PM
1 down.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
finished esther's blogskin.
Next on the list...
Let's see.... I think. SHERMAINE.
Cuz i think that one nids the most attention... .... no tagboard or nething... only the normal layout. hmm.
anyways. To view my work, you can go to www.oxygenlife.blogspot.com
Well... Umm. Yea lah. give comments on it. =D. My own blog actually more or less completed liao. Only lazy do the final touches... So well. Wait lorh. Let me clear up the projects... den i go do my own one. hahas.
Wells. I guess unless u want a pic smth lyk hers.. Dun ask me to do some fading things with ur own personal photos... Very sian eh. I look at her face lyk for 45mins. =.=lll It was a horrifying experience. I do not wish to go through the same torture again. lol. But den again. If u're a suuuuper chio bu that everyone wants to jio. I don't mind.
LOL. jk~ Hmm.. Sometimes, i wonder what's inside xin ni's head. Everytime she talks to me, she juz keep laughing. well. Sometimes for a reason, but mostly for no reason. I ask her why, she oso dunno... umm... LOL, got 1 time she laugh until her mouth cramp. XD.
oh wells... I don't really have much to say here. but ummm... If u lyk my blog work. hmm, mayb u can ask me to help u to make a new layout too... =D
posted at 12:50 PM
rvps speech day
Friday, November 17, 2006
went back to my pri sch today.
well. nth really much happened. But it really feels gd to be called, "guests, please take a seat" MUAHAHA. We lyk parents lyk that. Today, me, zhen yang, xin ni, siow may, cheryl, si / shi min went back. Den i called adriel to come. but i made him go too. =.=
anyways.... gah~ I have STM can't really rmb wad happen. Even if i could rmb, they're not in order. Anyways, i've just viewed esther's friendster profile. The only thing i've ever said throughout the whole thing is, "uh..........." lols. cuz it's kinda uhh........ =.=lll situation...
zzz. So wells. I don't haf much to sae here. Except that i have 5 blog skins construction going on... Well, haf fun everyone. Think i may be posting at night
posted at 1:44 PM
relax. it's over
Thursday, November 16, 2006
thx everyone.
thx shannen, cheryl, jasmine, pamela, zoey, eliada, teri and all those who have tried to help me.
I cried again juz now. For quite a long time. But not alot of tears come out larh. At first. It was tears of sadness and loneliness. But after awhile. It became tears of gratitude and joy.
I've finally found the answer i've been searching for for 4years. All that that was hindering my thinking, is only some useless fear. I'm so glad now that i couldn't slp. From the time i realise that, which is 12am. It's now 2.28am. I'm too excited to sleep. It's been such a long time since i've felt such comfort.
The answer is simple and clear. It may sound stupid to you guys. But it isn't to me. And the answer is. "i love my mother" i shalln't explain how i got that answer. It's too long.
But that answer, can explain many questions i couldn't answer. It brought me a new confidence now. =D Sigh, since i've already realise and gotten over it. I guess it's kinda time to give u guys a rough idea of what i've been through eh??? Cuz it kinda seems unfair putting u all through these things and not have a single idea of what happened...
I'll put it shortly. I've been abused by my brother. I shall not go into the details. My family's kinda broken up. My parents kinda on the verge of divorcing. shalln't go into the details either.
Well. It sounds okay here. Hmm, shouldn't let u guys be depressed for me anymore. I really appreciate what you all have been doing for me all these while.. Actually when i was writing all those down. What i've kinda wanted is eliada's sort of reaction. I want someone who would be TRUE and tell me what they REALLY think. It's like, there's no point in comforting someone if that person keeps crying right?
Trust me. I'm not THAT pessimistic.
Oh wells. Relax u won't be seeing sad post. mayb some moronic post. =p
posted at 2:31 AM
told ya so.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
eh cf. This is what i mean by wrong impression made.
All these i got it from my class blog larh.
______________________________
very boring to be honest.
writes in compo style.
makes your eyes go @.@ after reading.
please dont forget to look at green trees faraway after every paragraph of his posts.
always talk about his philosophies and his opinions on life or whatever his brain thinks of lol.
his blog has a special ninjutsu done on it so you get more sleepy after reading it. [lol]
and like junni says, i dont really approve of what he thinks,
but i guess im just lazy to say.
______________________________
Kkh has many rather views on the world that i think are rather WRONG. but to save myself a beating i shall not comment too much. Let's make this shooting a quick one then we can go back to QH. I mean, well kkh, it's your opinion, but well, i have mine. you can shoot me when you read this and post it on the class blog. let's put this in point form.
- i think you wallow in self pity.
- i think you think the wrong stuff about people w/o bothering to find out what's going on first/or why they say that in the first place.(i may be wrong here)
______________________________
Yea, they've voiced out what i'm trying to tell ya. What's the point yea? Even if they disagree, they simply disagree on their brain and don't really bother voicing it out. It sucks when you're wrong and don't know where you've gone wrong.
Wallow in self-pity? Yea, sure. Pathetic eh? Try not uthering a word about an issue which totally fliped ur life upside down for 4years. =.=lll Self pity? Well, actually i don't really mind what u sae. I just wanna know why you've said so. It's not diffcult re-acting out wad happened to me, i have 100% confidence that i can make ur life as hellish as mine.
Anyways. Nowadays, i've made alot of friends. Who are gangsters. Oh wells. They have guts alright. But hmm, there's been alot of time i see my friends almost getting into a fight over a smal issue. Sigh. But i can't really believe that my friend has a "brother" who has a gang of over 70++ people. Nice eh?
haix... no mood to write out smth funny lerh. mayb nxt time. byes
posted at 7:31 PM
zero.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
hmm... After readin jas's blog arh.
Gave me smth to write. Another compo i guess. but wadeva. You came here to read right? then READ.
Family probs. yeps. They weigh u down alot. But hmm. You know zero? Yea, it has some uses here. Well, mum nagging, some family disagreements, some restrictions, some stupid rule they expect u to follow.
Frustrating ain't them? But well. It's not lyk you're the only one who's experiencing it. It's lyk... The value, how much importance you should put on that problem. It's a problem everyone's facing isn't it? If you really can't accept it, den well. I guess the nxt best way is to ask for advice? If everyone goes through the same thing, there would SURELY at least be SOMEONE who can give u some useful advice isn't it?
Well, jas said that no matter wad, it's still a fact that they are troubles just that everyone's facing too right? Okay, yah. So? What's the point of asking advices then? Lyk i've said, this is a game of psychology. You only get affected mentally, not physically right? so fight it back mentally, not physically. Give urself psychological relaxation rather den physical relaxation, for eg, shouting, slping, crying.
Change ur mentality. Always remember this. Take note of ur 1st reaction aka thinkings / feelings towards it. When the situation is not to your advantage, try a different one which u think can help the nxt time. The more it comes naturally to u, the more it'll become ur instinct to feel that way. For eg, when u're mum juz shout at u to stop using the computer, the 1st instinctive feeling is to shout back saying "WAIT AWHILE LARH!"
yea. Try to pause and think of what u're actually doing. Do things which are meaningful. It's very very boring doing some meaningless things which would worsen the situation.
There's another thing u can do. But not many ppl is able to do this. It isn't as easy as saying it out. Even i can only do it occasionally. So well. just try eh? The golden rule for this solution is, put urself in their shoes. Sounds easy. yet difficult right?
Nvm lah, i help guide u lol. Well, it's faster getting to the root yea? 1st, think of WHY they want to do this, instead of why you're supposed to do it. After getting that down, think of how would they be feeling by doing that, and 3rd how would they feel if u've said what u've had in mind.
Those are the 3 things to do in order to make that work. But trust me, doing all that 3 things within 2 or 3 secs... requires alot alot of practice. I'm a practical person, so i'll give u a scenario. When u're mum just started shouting at u, do wad i've said. Cuz u only have around 2 to 3secs to reply yea? So if u do that correctly, it shout work out.
Trust me larh. That one sure work derh. Only whether u can pull it off anot.
And anyways, we're always thinking, why are my parents treating me like this? umm, i translate tis to english. "take a step back, and the sky would be clear" Well, don't always think of what our parents do us... SOMETIMES, think of what we've done to our parents. And sometimes, think of what we've done FOR our parents, and what they've done FOR us.
You'll realise that there actually isn't much that u can grumble about. Eh jas. Your aunt restricting u to do alot of things right? Ask her why don't allow u to do so. Once she's said that, if there's anything u don't agree with. Explain to her why. Dun care take how long. Explain until she understands what u're trying to sae.
zzz, i don't know what kind of impression i'm giving by keep typing such posts.
oh. and 1 more thing. trust me. This is part of growing up. yea yea, sounds dumb yea? but u'll understand one day. Hmm. so many thinkings... What i've said is the elementary ones. The basic thing that applies to almost everyone. There's still specific troubles which branches out from the word family. If you have any troubles tell me larh. I think i SHOULD have a solution for it...
But u noe what? I'm scared. I'm really afraid that what i'm telling other people, smth that people will believe. I'm afraid that it's wrong. I'm afraid that wad i've said is fake, smth that people shoudn't believe yet got tricked into believing. Sigh, i think i'll be able to understand that when i grow more... =D time is the esscence to knowledge =D
posted at 9:30 PM
wad can i sae? touched. =D
Monday, November 13, 2006
Woa. I read the tags i touched sia. O.O
okay nvm I'll reply the tags first....
12th nov.
kw: yea. But there IS eternal love. Well. "So called" larh. Nxt time i explain. =D.
eliada: yea okay...
dj: if i'm light all day around. It's okay to let out the heavy on my post. lols
13th nov.
Eugene: hahas. >.<
A i l e d o: yah. But it's boring. very boring.
cf: omg. tt was touching. =D Hmm, mayb i'll tell u how i feel someday.
sha: hey. Hi-5. I also have many questions popping up in my head lyk crazy. And anyways. It's hard counting the blessings u received without knowing. Anyways, trust me. My post, are mostly true, it only depends whether u want to accept it anot. Okay larh. tt one too long explain here lerh.
cf: okay, thx for ur advice. I'll cheer-up. Can't let u all down yea?
hmm. I re-read my recent post. Oh well. It DID sounded depressing. >.< lll okay nvm. Anyways, it's alot easier to understand my "chim" post with myself as the example. If u take that everything i've said has nth to do with me. I don't really think u guys would really that understand, except some.
You know. When i said abt different mentality that applies to me, yet contradicts each other? I'll give u an example.
It's about memories. Using my "dark" side. Memories is nth. Just a facade of time. A bunch of happiness and sadness linked together with a sequence. Then stored nicely inside ur head not being used anymore. It seems practically worthless of what u're actually doing. Since it isn't really won't be doing any changes to u. What that chanegs only happens during that moment. That split second.
Using my "light" side. Memories is ur most precious possesion. Where all ur happiness would be remembered and be reminisced at a later time. You think about the past, u learn from ur mistakes and u share ur happiness with other people. It's the most valuable thing human can have.
You see the contradiction and the application? Both is correct! Yet they contradict each other. This is only an eg. There's still tons of those stored in my head. That's why... I'm kinda confused ya know? About whether what i'm doing now is right. Whether it REALLY is the correct thing to do. It's hard different shading what is right from wrong ya know?
Well, for example. Sometimes, i'm playing very happily with u guys, den suddenly i walk away an sit in a corner to quieten down. Wierd? Mood swings? Nah. It's just the suddenly mentality change. It's lyk, i'm always clear of what i'm doing. And that when my positive side is having fun, beggining to get oblivious of what the person is doing... The negative side kinda takes over.
I will suddenly feel that everything that i've just did is STUPID. So idiotic, so meaningless. =.=lll It's just wierd u know. And sometimes painful. -.-
Haix. Yea i know, u all tell me to think less think less. Dun think dun think. Eh eh, i repeat again. You can't control what you think, it's what you think that controls you, right? I mean those fundamental thoughts, not those... "_____" thoughts. Oh wells. Juz find me smth i can concentrate on. It just sucks sitting around. I'll juz keep thinking non-stop.
posted at 7:16 PM
hmm. Last night. I think and think and think non-stop for the reason of why i keep thinking. Well, so far. Sooo far. This is the only logical explaination i can find. I'm bored.There isn't any happy or sad events that can cause a single ripple in my heart. It's just so... plain. So quiet and slow. Though i enjoy it. But i prefer smth more exciting, with ups and downs. It's just so boring not having anything happening. I guess thinking is the only thing that can cause some unbalance in my heart. That's why i keep thinking. It's easy making me feel extremely feel positive or negative.
Well, that could keep changing my thoughts in my head. Well, u may be wondering how complicated my head is. I don't know myself. lols. There's just too many thinkings that it's true, yet contradict each other. Well, thinking solutions for problems is the only thing that keep me awake throughout the whole day. Well, for my darkest side, i showed u guys. Well, sort of experiment. Kinda see what kind of problems there is.
Sigh. I used the name kira last time. It seems to ring a bell to me last night. Deathnote. Kira the bored genius. lols. Let's hope i'll get a deathnote nxt time too XDDD.
Hmm, i wonder if i have split personality... Hmm, rather... Split mentality. It seems that i'm able to switch in between a few mentality quite... Easily and quickly. That's why i kinda get bored of doing smth quite quickly. Well, it's also easy to generate interest in doing smth pretty quickly. Oh wells.
Heys, dun tell me u're confused which one is the actual me. I don't know myself. I'm just dead bored. I may not even know that i've created another mentality. "an idle mind is a devil's workshop"
Well, relax anyways. I won't be posting those very "sad" matured post. No point larh no point larh. Even though i do so many things. Seems lyk i have a plan or wad. But my mind is a blank now. =.=lll
i'm bored. My heart is too quiet an peaceful. Even when i lyk someone. It still doesn't change, even if i hate someone, it still doesn't change. =.=lll It sucks not to feel anything. It's damn boring. Sigh. Mayb i just find too many things pointless to do. Mayb i'll reach a point in time where i find it pointless to post lol. nvm. I'll post a light hearted post ltr... after my slp =p
posted at 10:34 AM
???????
Sunday, November 12, 2006
?.?
Question marks in the air.
Why do girls wanna get married???
Cuz from some of the quizes ppl take, it seems that quite a few girls wanna get married, and that i dun think any guys want to. lol. Why arh??
So troublesome...
-.- well, mayb i haven't mature for that part yet. lol. My mum saes girls mature faster in relationships. That's why they lyk. uh. uh... -.-lll u noe wad i'm trying to sae larh, dunno how to put in words.
Oh yea, you know y i got so many thinkings/philosophy??? Actually oso not really i wan derh lah. I keep finding things to distract me. Lyk playing computer games etc etc. But you know why i lyk talking best? It can pass my time pretty quickly and can socialise at the same time and letting me concentrate only on the conversation and not think of smth else.
When my attention is not focused on smth, lyk listening to the teacher talk, walking, listening to music, i'll just keep thinking. Not lyk i want de lorh. It's lyk my brain just dun wanna rest. -.-
Lyk u see my sianded face in sch all the time right? I'm trying not to think of anything. lols. Too hard to control wad u think. After all, it's wad u think that controls u. ARGH crap. I'm sounding too old for 13year old. -.-
wadeva. If there's smth u can't get through ur head. Gif it to me. I nid smth to think abt lol.
posted at 2:50 PM
Sigh, i expected it. I've predicted it. I can't believe that i'm right again. How i wish that i was wrong. I really do.Before i start. I shall apologise first for any unintentional hurtful feelings u may receive.
I shall fully and clearly explain why i'm doing all these. I think my FRIENDS have the rights to know what type of a person i am. I hope that my close friends could accept me for what i am. But lyk i've said. Hope is just a wimpy desire.
Sigh, you think that i want to pretend? Do you think that it's fun, enjoyable deceiving people around you? But if u compare that to crying everyday in school, which one would u prefer?
I ain't that mature when i'm only P3. It's lyk, when u've just realise how wonderful the world is, the world came crashing down on u. I'm not that open, when u're hurt, do u just show it all? I don't have the time to think, to react properly to the situation. I can only pretend, pretend that nth has eva happened and continue with life.
I know it's confusing you all. But how many of you, can actually accept a over-matured guy in life? Trust me, i KNOW it's hard getting along. I have NO CHOICE, but to act normal. Be childish at times, just being the happy-go-lucky type of person, with no worries. Yea, i do care for u people, that's why i try not to make u all worry about me.
But there's always a limit to what u can take. I think tis is my limit and i have to let it go now when the pain isn't killing me. I'm sry shannen. But it's not that i am turning emo. i AM emo. I simply hide and store them behind my smiles.
I shall place this properly now. I am wounded, i am hurt yes. BUT it can't be healed in such a short time, i just want you people to know what i really am. I just need acknowledgement. It's all i asked for. I feel that i'm turning cold, feelingless, but it's hard being pathetic! I drown myself in science, so that the pain would numb. So that the cause of pain would be nth. And i wouldn't feel it anymore.
I know many people get feel down, pissed, when tryin to console me. I'm sry for that. But it isn't really what i wanted to show u all.
I get what u mean shannen. I get what everyone is trying to tell. I know how people feel. But this feeling of loneliness is when you know how everyone feels, yet no one knows how u feel. I'm feel that my friends became my friends for the wrong reason. That's y i'm now trying to slowly slowly reveal my thinkings. But i guess this won't do.
Think in my point of perception.
How much rejection, retortion have i gotten since i've posted abit abt what i think? I guess it's too sudden.
I shall tell u guys how u all think abt me now yea? The misconception u all had. You've been thinking smth lyk,
"i didn't know that he thinks so deeply, but how could he have gotten all these stuff? What kind of pain is he going through? mayb i could do alittle to help?"
But relax. When u see me, i'll still be the same. No change. Relax, i'm letting u guys having a sneak preview of what's going on in my head. I'll change. Slowly, slow enough not to let u all notice it if i didn't post abt it.
And shannen, i'm really greatful for what you've done for me. I couldn't thank u anymore.
Mayb i shld juz gif an eg. , juz a minor one about something which stab me steeply. I went out with my mum 1 day. Well, she's under quite alot of stress nowadays, so i tried to make her happy. I tell her alot of jokes, i maintain my smile and laughter. Keeping myself cheerful to cheer her up.
You know what izzit that she said? (in chinese & hokkien) "y u so childish, whole day xi1 pi2 xiao4 lian3? bo1 si3 diam3. If u continue like this, all ur friends is gonna hate you."
That's just smth minor, but u noe what? It reopened my wounds again.
I'll ask u guys this question seriously. Do you just want the old me? Or want to try accepting the real me?
posted at 12:04 AM
welcome to the dark.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Reply to tags:
mingli: hahas. nvm it doesn't hurts. It's okay =DDD
Eugene: oh. thx =D hi there. nice to meet u too. =p
mad: yea.. hahas, keep up the spirit!
teri: um, they wont understand mah. aiya i lazy take away, nxt skin i den take away.
eliada and shannen and sher. I'll reply u with my post.
Anyways i apologise for any unintentional emotions caused while readin this post. I'll explain ltr why i'm saying all these now.
Actually, i agree with eliada. I might as well don't live. At sec sch. I took up the role of a person who ACTS lyk a counsellor. Oh yea. You think it's easy giving people ur happiness and swallowing the sadness? But yea, so wad? I don't even care abt the sadness i feel anymore. What i need is the meaning to continue living.
If i can even make a slight difference for another person, to let them feel just ABIT better. That's why i'm giving advices. And what is love if you don't feel it? What izzit that, even the closest kin to you, can't understand even a slight bit of how u feel, and uses some harsh words which would scar ur feelings?
If what that's left from all these emotion, feelings, thinkings, experience and hardships, are only painful memories?
What are family ties? It's just because u're borned into that particular group of humans. So that's the tie formed? Izzit a choice of whether u want to love ur parents? It's because that u're FORCED to do so.
what are human on earth for? The way it's progressing, we're just sacrificial products for the advancement of technology and society.
This makes me think of the question i used to ask myself.
"Is love, care and concern i need or want?"
You know "what makes the world go round" can also be said as "what makes us existent". And it isn't a choice whether u want to care for another person anot. Conscience. How izzit formed? through education. If from young we're taught that killing another person is the right thing to do. It doesn't sounds right, right? Because we're taught that killing another person is WRONG.
Lyk i've said, it's how the society shapes us, we're just sacrificial products. What can a friend do, when they can't enter inside ur world?
If u're telling me what other people feel, then there's no point in telling me that. Everyone is SUPPOSED to feel this way, but not everyone would. There is always exceptional people lyk me who falls out from the normal. I've used my positive side. always. In the pri sch. At that point in time, friends are everything to me. I try to make them feel gd, i try to make them laugh, i try to mix around with everyone. I embrace all my friendship and love.
End result? More pain. The type of pain, which when u realise that. When, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING u've done. Is meaningless, uselss and has no value. Mayb i've studied abit too much into science, but then again. We are made up or matter. We have chemical properties. We may be living, but we're still made up of atoms and molecules. There is always a limit to what we can do. There is this invisible parrellel side everyone has tht no one realises.
I shall not talk about bestfriends. I shall not define friends. All those will come later. If i say it out now, it'll be too much for u guys to take.
And maine, u noe why i'm saying all these now? I'm sick, SICK of pretending. I want people to accept who i am. Who i really am, i'm sick of pretending, i just want to let go. Do you know why when it comes to emo stuff, u guys still haven't out talk me in it? Where u're sort of forced to a corner to agree, but still resist with what u think instinctively? In order to win this. You have to think, think of how I feel. And get a solution against that.
In this self-centered society, everyone can only think of themselves. Basic instinct. Human instinct, but is that always correct? Nxt time u tag to "retort" my post. Please think, think deeper. Imagine the world i'm trying to tell u guys. Then u will slow, bit by bit, understand what i say
posted at 3:44 PM
swimming. slping?
Friday, November 10, 2006
Reply to tags:
Zoey: ya lorh. >.< not fair la she!
KW: hmm? i'm stiff? u can explain to me more nxt time on msn.
Yingz: well, u can look at it that way...
A i l: hm... think i'll rephrase smth.. lols
Sha: hmm i'll explain more on the nxt post.
deb: lols. bleah! =p
mad: well, i juz said it doesn't in my world.
ben: -.-lll suan me arh?!
greena: priceless? den u can nv sell it away for money =p
okay.... Went to pam's hse. Got jas, eliz, ming li, yq and teri. AND AH.... =p jas got lost on the way to pam's hse... LOL LOL.
Well, we went to swim lah. Had quite alot of fun. Well, nth much to elaborate on... Cuz if u went, u'll noe wad happened, if u didn't it's difficult describing. So wells. Hmm, got a few times i go be loner. Sry larh. Cuz i kana cold, dun feel well mah. Den dun wan u all to noe =/ Cuz i sit still at 1 place will feel better.
Den ltr i sit at the bench there cuz got strong sunlight, feel alot better there. so umm ya la. Den going home tt time on the bus. Hmm, very simple larh, not i "_____" (wadeva u're thinking) but juz that i don't fit in that particular formation of group. So no point standing there listening.
The following text is copy-righted from shannen's blog:
love is a power stronger than hope.
love is a strength to let you carry on with what you're supposed to do,no matter how tough the setbacks are.
love is a force incomprehendable but its easy to feel its presence.
love is not only about an overdosage of care and concern.it is a product of love thats why we care and concern for others.
you love your friends,dont you?thats why we care and concern for them.
thats what love is all about.by saying that love doesnt exist in your world,it means you're some sort of loner with no family,friends,nothing.it cannot be because you dont know how to define it.that phrase is selfish,narcissistic,pessimistic.
if love doesnt exist in your world,you cannot love your friends too.so are you saying that you dont care and concern for them?after all,they are by products of love.
Well, quite true. okay. I shall post back to this. Sry if i've made u guys feel bad or negative while reading this. But the following is gonna be really negative. If u don't wan ur mood to get affected, dun read it.
EXTREME CAUTION. HIGHLY HAZADOUS.
what is hope? You call a wimpy desire for help from others hope? Hoping is smth lyk craving for smth u don't have and wish to possess? Hope is where, u're feeling weak, powerless and useless and cling on to the desire of a "hero" who would pull u out from the quick sand?
Love isn't the motivation which pushes u on to carry on trying no matter how hard things are. Human instinct, that is the key. It's human instinct to survive. Once u gif up, everythings' over for u. For ur existence to stay, you have to choice but to keep trying. Why so? Cuz we've seen people who've gave up. What've became of them? We know clearly.
Love is incomprehenable? yea. But how do u know that wad u've been feelin is love all along if it's incomprehenable? If you don't know how it's suppose to feel, if u don't know what it is. How could u even know that u're feeling it all along?
LOVE is a humane term given for the chemicals that made up what we call L-O-V-E. Care and concern is a product? U mean, if there's this absence of such chemical in our brain, we'll lose our humanity, and go around killing people? U're saying that love is our conscience? And when people fight, they've lost their love for each other?
You can't create smth out of nth. Law of physics. If love is nth. And that the product of love is care and concern, it isn't true then! Care and concern is what makes love comprehenable. If u agree with that point, den u can sae that there is love. Cuz it could be defined.
you can sae that i'm cold, unfeeling. But there's too many things which happened which i can't comprehend in time. I have this question.
"is caring and conerning ur friends a type of feeling or responsibilty?"
How many of us has acted on our feelings? Some friends we don't really know, we merely cared becuz it's what u're supposed to do. And not what u did out of ur own free will. yea, we "cared" for some close friends when they are injured. but haf u ever wondered if it is real concern or izzit just sympathy? Smth lyk "ouch, that must hurt. are u okay?"
Pure sympathy. My world is cold. It's so cold and dark. Imagine being hurt in a solitary world. Where there's no where to run, when there's no where to hide. There's no where u can go to. U're juz being stabbed in the same wound over and over again. I wish that there is even 1 person who fully understands what i mean.
I shall put it simply. I don't love anyone. Neither do i feel love from anyone. I still care for my friends still. Yea? I don't even know why i would develope such humane feelings. If u get to the darkest side of me. You'll realise that, love, care, concern, sympathy, friends, family, are nth. Where everything is nth. Where life and death falls on the same line.
i got this from bleach, it's true.
"it's terribly horrifying being pelted down by rain in a solitary world when there's no where u can hide or run to"
Welcome to the dark side of me
posted at 10:23 PM
3 in 1.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
okay. Are u guys bored when u're reading this?
if u are. Gd. Tis is gonna be a DAAAAAAAMN long post. So u betta prepare urself for it. I shall not be sry for any inconvienience caused.
U prepared? let's go.
This post is called 3 in 1. Becuz i'm gonna explain 3 things in 1 go. lol. Kinda related in each other, well. Can use each other as an eg. larh.
The 3 things i'm gonna explain is.
-"Love"
-"Ignorance is bliss"
-"problems aka troubles"
Hmm... Hmm... I wonder if tis is stupid or brave if i use myself as an eg. again. But den again. It's more understandable if i use myself as an eg. Okay, so let's see. (Again.....) Scientifically, love is juz a emotion created by the mixtures of chemicals formed in our brain. Becuz of our own humane preference, which causes the attraction to the opposite sex.
Well, there's this time when my frien asked me:
"How do u feel if u lyk someone and the person doesn't lyks u back?"
My reply was "pointless"
Simple... Well... My friend onced ask me why didn't i go and jio the girl that i lyk. Me answer was, too troublesome. Yea, but i didn't really bothered abt explaining that time. So i'll explain why izzit so meaningless and pointless (at least to me) to jio a girl that u lyk.
You see, if u purposely go and try to attract the person that u lyk, and somehow did smth that is touching in that person's eyes, and in the end made her/him feel attracted to u by some means... I think that, it feels fake to me. lyk, it's because of some external force that the person has feelings for u.
For me, if u tell the person abt it. That's enough. Be urself. Love is a natural thing to me. If it happens only under some circumstances and pressure. I don't really call that love. Don't u think so? Let the person like u for who u are, and not like u for wad u PRETENDED to be. I guess that's the whole thing abt love.
Well, many people sae that "ignorance is bliss" Yea, i agree with that. To a certain extent.Lyk, u can ignore some superficial things. But there is always smth deeper abt the thing that u wanted to ignore. For eg. of love. You can always ignore the fact that the person has confessed to u, but u can nv ignore the feelings the person has for u.
You can ignore the fact that ur stomach is rumbling right now, but u can't ignore the fact that u have to eat in order to survive. You can ignore that ur mum is shouting at ur ear, u can ignore the noise, but u can't really ignore that, once ur attention is gotten back by ur mum, u can once again hear the shoutings.
You can always ignore how others feel towards u, but u can nv ignore how u feel towards others.
Ignorance is bliss. yes, only to a certain extent. That saying only last for moment. Not forever.
Troules. Everyone is always complaining abt their own troubles. Yea.
Rmb my saying? "Troubles are there for u to grow"
Well, this is smth that supports my statement. With each growing problem, u'll eventually find a solution to it, that is the experienced gain. And that steers ur mental level to a greater height. Don't u find it wierd that, everyone's maturity is almost growing at the same level? It shows that everyone experience the same problems and troubles that you do.
How do i judge whether the person has alot of troubles anot? You look at their maturity. Once u understand that. It's pretty easy seeing if the person has troubles anot. So if u're looking at it this way, if everyone's the same, u cancel out all the troubles that everyone has. It leaves u with nothing. That's how i console myself.
There's a ton of many things of how i judge another person. So juz don't be surprised on how i know some things about you. This is a game of psychology.
Even so. There's this thing i don't understand about love. That's y there's this when my msn personal msg is "love doesn't exist in my world"
Becuz, how do u define love? What is love? If u break it down, it's juz an overdosage of care and concern for the other party. When u keep thinking of the person, it isn't simply attraction, it's becuz u care for the other person's safety. So what is love exactly? Where people can share their innest most feelings easily? When u feel secure with the other person? If u add all that up and call that love, i call that bullshit.
So now u understand wad i mean by that? Sigh, that's y i always sae. How i wish that i understood less things, and that everything was much simpler den it seems.
End of story.
posted at 11:50 AM
oh wow. humour or humilliation?
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
i got this from my brother's blog.
Well, it's kinda funny. And humilliating.
Well, it's kinda interesting anyways. So.. i'll juz put up for u guys to read.
(NOT EDITED AT ALL)
________________________________________
To the driver of YH1197X,
I am just one of the many road users you see on the road everyday, so you probably wouldn't notice me anyway. I would just like to remind you that your
From what i learnt in the driving centre, we are supposed to check our blindspot before changing lanes, i am glad you have not forgotten that. In fact, i am quite sure our eyes met while you were checking your blindspot, and i am very sure you saw me and my scooter on the other lane.
Why
But i guess there are too many of such inconsiderate
Then again,
Yours truly,
--- -----
________________________________________
oh wells. I couldn't be more amused tt my bro actually posted tt on blog. In such a nice manner. hahas. Quite a fair sense of humour eh? =p
Oh and this one too:
________________________________________
Anyway, its an interesting comment that the tutor wrote for my part of the presentation.
"Confident
Few things pop up in my head
1) i gave a lecture?
2) i spoke like a lecturer?
3) or she meant to say i spoke too long?
4) did she write wrongly there?
5) anyway, its obvious i don't qualify as a speaker 'cause she cancelled that
________________________________________
hahas. oh wells. I guess i'll post abt love ltr. Will be short. Since i posted abt it a few times. Due to some unexpected circumstances which forces me into doing it. =D
well. tt sums up this post.
posted at 2:01 PM
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
reply to tags:
yingz: yepz yepz. But everything would be MUCH simpler if we can juz break them down.
zoey: oh well yea. But if too many come at a time, it wouldn't help us to grow. It will only stop us in our tracks.
shannen: yea. But such things are impulsive type of problems u noe? there and then. You can prevent ur feelings from going out. but u can't prevent it from coming in yea?
teri: yea, and the point i'm trying to bring to them is that, ain't we humans too?
A i l e d o: hahas, yea glad u do.. unjustified feeling.
hmm. So went to vivo. Met sherri... shorter den i thought. XDXDXD
okay nvm. CONVENANT WAS NICE!!! omg, everyone shld watch it! The powers are cool. If i have them. having lyk... 100+ gf shld be no prob. XDDD jk jk. Okay so after tt we went to ben's hse there play soccer wif them. Well on the way, realise tt i was cut and bleeding. So well, on the way home after soccer i take photo of it. XD for pure entertainment purpose.
hahas. The cut some where at the top. Juz tt the blood flow larh. Quite long lerh. So harden XD. Or else the effect could be better.
Hmm, on the way home. We tok kok abt convenant larh. Oh, den talk abt soccer. Sae i rest 2months ltr will become very pro (dun play soccer at all) Den adriel ask i can tahan meh? Den i sae, get a girlfriend pass time. XD. Den he sae, cannot, u won't heal. Den i sae, make the girl friend listen lyk dog. smth lyk SIT! =.= well. Anyways.
Den adriel said, eh, jas can eh. Den i was lyk -.= why? Den he sae, cuz her body long leg short. Den arm and leg lenght same... not lyk dog meh? Den i was lyk. =.= awhile. Den me and qin started LOLing.
oh wells. Dun blame me... XDDDD Adriel got tt idea. HAHAHA. but it was funny though.
posted at 8:39 PM
oh my fucking god.i can't believe she made me cry again.
I simply did wad she did to me. I did it back to her. yea? Anything wrong? I DON'T SEE HOW WRONG I AM.
So wad?! She's my mum yea? WAD CAN I SAE?
y izzit that wad i sae can never get to her, and yet she expects me to fully understand wad she's trying to tell me. I don't get it. I dun farking get why parents yell at their kid's ear even though they're juz 30cm away.
Are we deaf? YEA? NO.
Why do they insist that they're right when they are the on in wrong. Why izzit that when they vent their anger on us, we can only accpet it in silence, and when it's our turn to vent ours, we in turn get the blame and scolded?
Sigh. Yea i noe, everyone would sae, there's nth we can do. They ARE our parents ain't they? Uh huh. And my point is. We ARE THEIR CHILDREN.
It's time to GET them to LISTEN to wad i have to sae.
Another nice day turned bad. Wadeva, going to vivo ltr. I guess tt'll cheer me up. And xin ni said "WOA" to me when i juz said yo to her. Hahas, she said that my posts are so sensible nowadays. Eh eh. I sae again, LAST TIME NOT SENSIBLE MEH? >.<
oh wells. If u guys lyk the in-sensible posts more.. tell me hahas. XD
posted at 11:47 AM
teri.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
ah... i understand how u feel. hahas. Well, i think everyone has felt that b4. It's quite impossible tt anyone has nv felt tt at all. Well... Even if u don't think abt it, lyk dun care about it.... You'll still feel it anyways eh?
Not that of a nice feeling being left alone to rot. Well, i haf a few advice which may make u feel better... Let's juz sae that the reason of us feeling this way is becuz of "EXPECTATIONS". Feelings can turn sour when that is used well... In our desires.
Example is lyk... "hey, i've treated you like this, you should at least treat me better!" I guess tt's wad everyone think eh? There's this invisible trade of feelings. If done correctly, both profitted from the trade, if not, one will make losts. Well, and another thing is...
"wish that u are always there for others, rather den wishing for others to always be there for u"
To me, life is meaningless when u don't change anything for the better, life is meaningless in that sense. That's y i always try to help out in other people's problem. I feel happy when listening to their problems. If what i do can help make them feel better, that alone brings meaning to my life and let me have the will to live on.
A depressing thing i've sumed up. "all that's left from happiness and sadness is only fading memories."
one more thing. " heart wounds never heal "
Trust me. It NEVER heals. Time only numbs the pain. Thinking about ur wounds can let u vividly remember the pain doesn't it? Advices can help fasten the numbing process. It lifts u from the pool of pain. Even though u don't feel it anymore, u rmb it well.
COMBINED WITH YING XUAN'S POST.
Well, stumbled upon her blog larh. Den read up on her questions on why people put masks. Why fake through even though they are in extreme pain?
Answer for both teri and her is.
Everyone wears a mask. Whether u like it anot, u wear it all the same. We're living in reality, a SOCIETY. We HAVE to get along to ensure the continuous cycle of humanity. If everyone has different thoughts about how it should be runed, it would cause chaos. Everyone has to find a suitable character which fits the needs of the society. The society don't nid a human who always complain about his or her problems, a human who is crying all day long do they?
Why we think this way? The society has MADE us to be so. Isn't it too gd to be true that almost everyone u meet have a possibility of being your friend? And them being friendly all these? Those that stand out too much are being isolated aren't they?
In order for fairness to stand, u have to fit in the majority, u can't expect the majority to fit in with u right?
Even though we're in pain as we lived on, but this IS a society formed over thousands of years, through those ancient civilisation which has transformed into this modern society, how could u eva destroy such a solid foundation? Well, as we've always said, this is reality, accept it or just die.
The truth is always cruel. Okay, back to teri. Well, u could sae that this is the transition period between a Pri to a Sec. Because we're so used to our previous lifestyles, lyk, we're closer to our pri sch friends right? we always hang out together, do things together... BUT in sec sch, there are some who are from the same pri, some who gets along better at 1st. So it's unavoidable that we're being left out sometimes. So well... All we can do is cope with it.
Time could bring us closer together.
Time could also seperate us further.
We nv noe wad time can do to us. So all we can do is wait. Make the best out of every worst situation. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. What else can we do? Can't oppose the flow of time right? Another reason why we have regrets.
So.. I guess that's enough for now. Hope u'll feel better... =D
posted at 7:56 PM
juz read lah!
Friday, November 03, 2006
Reply to tags...
2nd nov:
Greena: hahas, wierd but quite okay mah! yea. lols! very dramatic eh junni XD
jas: hmm, k lah k lah. I TRY... hmm, quite unexpected... hhas
eliz: i understand. cuz we same boat mah
zoey: XDDD adriel is gonna kill me if he reads that
eliada: YAY! u still read my blog. THANKS!
maine: haven't post only larh... hahas!
3rd nov:
teri: YEA! unexpected. I dunno anything abt her hahas!
jas: really meh? hahas. so many blur people swarming around... XD
dj: wtf. no lorh! didn't boast. XD. juz tryin to get to a higher lvl
pam: hahas! den let him plan lorh... eh, lazy explain why u meet so many nice ppl, hahas! glen arh?
maine: hahas! yea, pf is gonna kill me =X oh okay... see 1st.. XD
(quite a long post, ENJOY reading! =D )
Sry ah! I don't keep enterin my blog... lols. sry for the late reply of tags. And ah! So glad tt ppl tag me regularly. LOVE U GUYS! (sounds gay =X)
oh wadeva.
HEADLINE NEWS.
-Qin Hui zhong4 se4 qing1 you3
-Ming Li eating habits
-Eliz's photo of the year
-Grudge 2 (movie)
Today went to tampines with mingli and eliz. Main objective at 1st is to go arcade den go library borrow books for english assignment. Well... I'll reshuffle headlines as it would link better.
So we go to food court eat... I didn't eat lah, cuz ate b4 going out. So i watch mingli and eliz eat.. OMG. MINGLI DAMN CUTE CAN?! Well, can't really see the cheeks from the photo... but i'll put it up anyways...
.jpg)
her cheeks is lyk (o^.^o) bulging lah. Very very cute hahas! lyk hamster when it stores the food in the mouth. Her heating habit is. Put food inside mouth. Put another spoon. And another spoon. Den slowly chew... Den b4 swallowing, put another spoon. XD. make until so bulging. XD.
Wells. this is the photo of the year.
ELIZ'S PHOTO OF THE YEAR
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FUNNY? I think so too. XDDDDD
Many other spastic pose. too bad u guys didn't come. BLEH =p
okay. Den ltr we went to the arcade. Stayed there awhile. Den i saw Qin, with jas and another sc girl. den i was lyk... =.=lll now very late already ah? huh? eee, not fair bluff me >.<
wa liew. Pang seh me. ZHONG SE QING YOU!!!! nvm lah. hahas. Cuz in the end i drag him play with me. Cuz i thrashed eliz in time crisis which she's so PROUD of... Den after tt dun dare play with me liaos. oh wells. XD. DUN SAE I BHB!!!
(add-on)
Ah! Den ltr watch grudge 2. Shocking movie. Not tt it's scary, but keep shocking people. =.=lll idiot. Aiya, lazy explain now hahas!!! will explain in my nxt post
Ah! quite a long post eh? hahas. haf fun everyone!
posted at 11:39 PM
bought smth.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
went to orchard after posting. went out at around.... 2.30pm
Made my mum walk lols. All the way from dhoby ghaut to far east mall. Pro rite? Hahas, den bought 2 shirt and 1 pants. finally for the FIRST TIME in my whole entire life, i get to choose the location to buy my clothes, and get to choose my clothes. =.=lll
pathetic life. Dun care. Nxt time my mum bring me out again, i'll do the same thing... Well, would be wearing the clothes out when going vivo... XD
Ah! PEI FANG. I'M GONNA EXPOSE U. =p BLEAH!!!
hahas. today ah, she went out wif shermaine rite?! Den when taking mrt ah. She trying to exit. Tap card. Cannot, try again. Still cannot. Den ask sher wad happen. (IT'S THE WRONG ONE LUH. LOL got that X there[nv see]) XDDD Den sher ask her to try another one. Den she tried, still cannot, den ask whether it's the machine or card prob? Den she take up the card and check... ACTUALLY, it's the wrong exit again. XDDD . SO BLUR!!!
omg, blur people out there, u've met ur match. esp. SOTONG BALLS.
arh? pei fang ah. I posted on my blog lerh eh. how??? XDDDD And anyways ah. Wasted 1 year nv talk to u. XD. wells, if u got come my blog ah. TAG LUH.
wadevas. AH! i'm getting bored of tis skin. Too fast. I think since it's hols. I'll go and learn some more HTML skills. I think zhen yang surpass me lerh! JEALOUS!!! not fair. Nvm, i'm a computer genius, i'll learn it ASAP. Look forward to a great skin. I'm gonna focus more on design now!
posted at 11:29 PM
tis post, is written on account that jas misses my LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG posts. So this one should be long alrights. hahas.And then ah, last time, my posts long long, is becuz my day is filled with smth, or else is that some kind of crap thing which i thought abt... or something funny which happened that day. Nowadays my posts long, mostly becuz i type emo stuff. LOL. Cuz when u explain arh. Unexpectedly will type until very very long. Also dunno why eh. XD
Wells, pam & jas i found someone who understands how i feel lerh. Actually, she oso somehow went through the same thing as i did. But den, ya lah. I think she experienced slightly more than me. hahas. Though we're in the same boat. I'm juz slightly better off den her. oh wells.
But at least she understood all my posts =D Hahas, it's easy dealing with something for a moment, but not for a lifetime XD.
Well, i guess sooner or later it'll go. Hmm, i've straighten my thinking lerh. So... hmmm... Hmm... I still think that this philosophy is best so far "everything is too troublesome"
Oh wells. felt alot better last night as we talked abt smth which we kinda both went through. Yea, at least there's 1 friend who totally understood how i felt. Hmm, and agrees with what i've said. Hahas, well. Same thinking as her, if you haven't been through, u can't really judge it eh? So some of the advice.. Hmm, though it's kind of u guys to tell me those.. Well, if u've experienced it, i guess u'll agree with me too. hahas.
After all, we're still humans rite?
So ANYWAYS. I'm gonna read back on my post. I know my posts ain't that interesting anymore. Cuz ah... hmm. It's a boring life. hahas. But i'll try to bring new and interesting stuff to u guys out there.
AH! my mind blank diao ler lah. Hmm. Haf the suddenly urge to get my sweet revenge on jas. =.= wa lao eh. Lyndon and jas hand the str is UNEXPECTED. Hmm, lyndon ah. His arm ah. Lyk suddenly stiffen until lyk wad crap thing. LOL. Really nv expect him to have so much strenght. Den jas the... uh.. "palm" the part of hand lah. Damn strong =.=lll very unexpected too... Adriel leh... that one ah. BULL AH. XD
wells. nth to sae liao so byes for now
posted at 12:39 PM
boring.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
i think i shld juz stop thinking abt anything le lah. Sigh, i juz keep thinking and thinking to kill time. It's really boring not thinking of anything. But if thinking is gonna gif me this. I think i'll juz stop thinking XD.
From now on.. HMM.... My STM will get more serious, and i will get blurer... hahahs. But i will play more often and get hyper more easily. hmms... Fair change. XD. Sigh, think i'll juz play computer to pass my time now. Oh wells. shyt! forget get screen shot from the game im playing. ARGH. wadeva. I ltr go take den post up here.
And anyways, EH SHA, wad u mean by, "post more sensibly" =.= i post the posts very senseless meh? wa lao. Break my glass heart! hahahs.
hmm... Zzzzzz. Feel lyk slping everyday at home. So bored... nth to do. Den sengkang keep raining non-stop when it's the best time to play soccer. Zzz. nth to kill time. WAH... If someone is bored and don't mind talkin on the phone. call me.
whole day rot at home so sianed. Nth to sae larh. oso no mood go open the game juz to get screen shot. lols. i try to rmb nxt time. for now... byes
posted at 3:27 PM
