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great. i think it's time i could sae out the reason and who my so called "crush" is liao le. Finally got the mood to type alot out. lol. And the issue has quieten down anyways.

Let's see. since i keep u all in suspense in such a long time. no use beating around the bush. oh wells. it's obvious. jas la. XD.
Well, kar wing betted my balls on her. =.=lll anyways. Please read finish the following and understand the situation.

Let's see. I told shannen abt her la. so, my 1st's reasons of lyking her is becuz. AT LEAST she listens. or wad so eva. i think the whole class only she will abt.... 95% of the time reply my sms in 5mins lyk that. Den will talk alot. ok la, not talk alot la, AT LEAST she listens.

Well, anyways. i shall elaborate abt the smile part and her looks 1st la. Ok, see ah, i lyk her smile because she has that innocent smile of a kid. XD. It's like... how i explain it.... hmm. a pure and untainted smile. i guess. Anyways, den she's lyk a.... hmm... pri sch kid lyk that la... hahas. LOOK very serious during work, juz like those P2 kids u noe? I think i lyk her partly becuz of somehow i think she's innocent la...

So den comes the other reasons. I like her, as in a best friend-to-be situation. So far got 2, shannen 1st, zoey 2nd. But i couldn't always talk to them de mah. And JUST NICE there's this girl with almost the same qualities as them. so?

Shannen asked me: "why don't u find the guys to be ur best friends den?" Let's see. not trying to be rude, but i shall elaborate on why i couldn't talk to them freely. (guys)

GUYS (according to reg. no.)
23. DJ - someone who doesn't really talks alot
24. Ben - can't talk on the phone, quite ap
25. Yan Hao - childish, don't really understand alot of things
26. Deon - critisizer, won't understand me
27. Kang Lei - doesn't talk alot
28. Me
29. Ho Ming - a guy who broke up in a BGR, and don't noe how to handle
30. Sheng Yong - a guy who takes everything by his stride, and always sae. "UH...."
(from here on, the sequence not sure right anot.)
31. Ming Guan - can't talk on the phone, quiet.
32. Jia hao - don't get along that well.
33. MC - a lame guy who acts lyk a gay.
34. Qin - crappy guy, will listen, but not the one who will really understands.
35. Jia Hong - don't really know him that well
36. Brian - a really lame guy, who doesn't care abt u
37. Jia Sheng - forget abt this guy. (hopeless)

Now, who can i talk to? I can't really find the one. Mayb becuz i dunno them well enough. But that is gd enuf of a reason y i didn't make them as my best friends. right? Some wad the same thing with the girls, but diff reason. But for girls, it's either that they can't talk at the time i could, or i can't find the same quality lyk those i found in sha and zoey.

So the one with the best chance that COULD become my best friend is jas. Clear enuf right? And den, i dunno how, but her time schedule is somewhat similiar to mine. As in, around... lyk. 8~10 can talk that type. Well, she listens. too much. I think she may find it wierd y i'm changing her to talk more. Cuz i guess it's to confirm my gut feeling. According to how she does her maths. She does understands, but she juz can't get the reason why.

And if she does, i hope she could voice out her opinions. Communicate. Rather den juz be someone who lets other people dump their worries and walk away. And partly the reason why i didn't really talk abt my family to anyone. Is becuz i dun want anyone to change their point of view of me. I don't want anyone to try to understand or not to hurt my feelings. You kno?

I guess that for the points i stated up there. Anyone could be my best friend. But the thing i'm finding is natural. Someone that will listen and do somethings by instincts, not because they know they nid to do it. And so far my 2 other best friends has some troubles, one has a tougher one... Which has been bothering them. From what i can tell, jas's problem, isn't that much of zoey's one. Mayb the same as sha's, but i've told sha too many things, i know she'll listen. But it's juz that.... i can't find the opportunity.

And one more thing. When talkin to jas, sha, zoey. I can find my old personality i had in pri sch. I feel free in speech. There's been time i want to sae it out to jas or sha, but i juz can't find the chance.

But u noe, this feeling sometimes make me feel stupid. I've wondered. What's the use of telling other people? You're simply bothering other people and not helping urself. So what if they understand? So what if they felt ur pain? so what? I dun get it. i really don't. Yet everytime i try to find that inner peace within myself by tryin to tell other people my problems. Hoping that they'll understand. Even if it's pointless.

And anyways, abt her right. Actually i didn't find much point in hiding it, so i made it as obvious as possible. The hints la. Den all was left is my acting to waver their confidence in their answer. They know it, juz that they're not sure of it. hahas. I guess she noticed it as well. XD.

i told u all it's so long i lazy to explain. So i summarised it to "crush" 1 word. understand? =.=lll
Sigh, so troublesome, nxt time dun put on my blog liao. haiz, tot can keep as memory mah... XD.

since u all noe le, DUN BOTHER ME AH.