pissed
Saturday, September 23, 2006
i guess i'm simply pissed by hui ting, currently in AHS 1B.
Anyways, thx to her i have smth to post abt.
I really wonder why sometimes people ACT to understand or know u so well they label u. She called me "immature" wad do u think? And she said that i think too highly of myself, saying smth lyk.. wait let me think...
"you think that you're so POPULAR during pri sch, when u come to sec sch things have changed so DRASTICALLY"
I dun get her, mayb she's another yvonne. She actually TRIED to "understand" me. I guess it can't be help. Let's end the thing abt popularity shall we? I dun GIVE A DAMN abt popularity, it irritates me during pri sch. Didnt really had much fun attaining it. I chose to be quieter, and there's no way i can attract attention.
Anyways, i guess she's having fun while quarreling with me. If it's normal joking type of jokes, even if it's serious jokes, i can take it. what i can't take it is.
I HATE PEOPLE WHO ACTED SO MUCH THAT THEY UNDERSTAND ME TOTALLY WHEN THEY ACTUALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW ME AT ALL.
There are alot of things which alot of people haven't experienced and i have. I have been through breakdowns and many other things which will slow me down or make me sad. When i sae sad, i mean the type of uncontrollable emotions which gushes out, it makes u cry no matter how hard u try to stop.
Even when i'm thinking abt it now, my eyes are welling with tears. WHY? I CAN'T SAY IT OUT. I CAN'T. It's the pain of knowing it, and can't do anything or tell anyone abt it. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS, unless they had a similiar experience, which is SO RARE. It isn't smth i could go around telling people abt. IT'S PAINFUL HIDING MY PAIN.
I may seem happy always, cheerful, mayb sleepy. But they are just covering my inner self. Physical wounds can heal, but it's those PSYCHOLOGICAL which CAN'T. That's why when i'm irritated or flare up, i look scary, IT'S MY PAIN U FEEL. even so, i tried hard, to keep things to myself. The reason that i'm MAY be more matture that other people of my age is because that i can UNDERSTAND wad u're going through. And i can contain my emotions better.
I guess time doesn't heal all wounds. i simply hate my family.
posted at 11:00 PM